Ever wish you had a map telling you how you should feel at a certain time in your life? Become a Peace Corps Volunteer and you’ll get just that. A two year and three month guide to your emotions written out for the world to see. 
Want to know what I first thought when I saw this? “What a load of crap.” How could someone tell me how I am supposed to feel? And then beyond that, give detailed reasons why I would feel that way? How do you even know?! If I were to make my own chart it would look a little different.
First of all, 0-2 months would look like a seismograph reading for a 10.0 earthquake. Those first 2 months were so up and down for me I didn’t know what to feel hour to hour let alone day to day. Skipping forward two years, when I first got here I could not imagine being depressed about going back to America. They have Taco Bell and laundry detergent that smells good.
Despite my immediate disdain, I can’t disprove the chart just yet. After all I am only 6 months in…mini party in my head as I say that… and I can relate to some of it’s content. But the thing about feelings is, no one can tell another person how they are supposed to feel. Past and current experiences, future plans and goals, everything we have been through up to this very moment in our lives has built up to how we are feeling in this instant. Happiness does not come because a chart says it should. Happiness, like many other emotions, is decided. Every day we wake up, we have to choose to be happy. This can be especially difficult as a PCV where any number of cultural misunderstandings or something going on back in America could easily plummet us into the ‘vulnerable’ category. Whether that be pushing us into depression or immense anger, every day is a choice.
An old boss, spiritual leader, mentor, and friend used to quote Chuck Swindoll on the reg when I worked as a counselor at Camp Cotubic.
“Attitude is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, money, circumstances, than failures and success, than what other people think, say, or do. It is more important than appearance, ability, or skill. It will make or break a business, a home, a friendship, an organization. The remarkable thing is I have a choice every day of what my attitude will be. I cannot change my past. I cannot change the actions of others. I cannot change the inevitable. The only thing I can change is attitude. Life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how I react to it.”
He would say this, then make us promise that we would never forget it. Well it worked Scott because here I sit, under the hot African sun, remembering those words once again. Sidebar – everybody send some good vibes out to Bellefontaine Ohio where CC is preparing for yet another summer of changing lives.
We don’t have a ton of control over the things that happen to us. But we can choose how we react to them. We can choose to be happy. Of course there are things that encourage happiness. For people struggling with depression or anxiety, or both, these things can be pretty difficult to find. Luckily I am not short on things to make me happy.
The people back in America who put up with me texting them at crazy times of the day and night because the time change is weird, they are the real rock-stars (and you know who you are). All of the encouraging packages, cards, Facebook comments, google voice messages, Instagram likes, and blog views always help. Peace Corps friends who will talk on the phone about the same issues every week but don’t mind. Props to Peace Corps for giving us free calling to other volunteers..I probably take advantage of that too much. And of course, the people in village that make this experience so worthwhile.
These last two months in Senegal have been so filled with happiness. From spending time with friends at IST to spending a month at site continuing to learn and get started on projects, I can happily say that I have been genuinely happy! So without further adieu, I present to you a montage of some of the faces that bring me happiness on a daily basis. hopefully they can bring you some happiness as well!
My Niece Fatu and her Uncle..Look about the same age don’t they? Welcome the the Senegalese family!
My cousin Sainabou and I, J-cheesin. This kid is a spitfire..just like her mother!
Ali and Tee! Ali is my cousin, and Tee is my niece (though everyone calls her my child). So precious.
This is Yassine, my sister in law’s little sister. She does a lot around the compound and loves to come color in my room! She was very shy around me at first, but is now very open and I enjoy spending time with her.
My ‘father’ and complete pain in my butt. They call him my father because he was named after him. He likes to hit me, but screams when I try to grab him..Hilarious
This is the bride of a wedding that I attended in my village. This photo was taken after she thanked me for coming to her wedding, and sprayed me with body spray..did I smell that bad?!
My beautiful second mother (middle) and our neighbor posing for a photo after we cut literally hundreds of onions for a wedding!
One of my good friends daughters…you can’t tell in this picture, but she usually doesn’t come near me. Finally let me hold her that day.
This is Pa Modou. He is hilarious, and so dang cute..but not a good role model for my little brother Ousman..they get in a lot of trouble together!
Some girls from the village that I met while on a run in the bush..They were collecting firewood for their mothers and asked me to take a photo. Every time I see them now they ask to see this photo!
Two of my siblings posing for a picture in their matching shirts! Fanta is quickly becoming a very close friend of mine, she loves to braid my hair.
Pinatas exist in Senegal! Only here they don’t involve candy, but rather hitting your older brother with a stick as he hangs out of a mango tree.
For big events women in a family will often get matching outfits. My family got these beautiful completes made for the recent wedding in our village!
Madam and Ali..Ali is definitely too old to be carried around like this, but Madam loves him so much she will do anything for him!
Yakhanna, my sister in law, and according to Senegalese custom, my wife! She cooks half of my meals for me, and makes sure I am taken care of. She also likes to have foot races to the boutique or the well!
My eldest cousin, and a total boss. He works so hard in school and in the fields. He is also a boss at soccer.
Yassine and Yakhanna’s little brother, I don’t see him a ton, but when I do he always likes to ask me questions.
The cutest little baby ever. Every time I hold her I just can’t get enough! Notice the drawn on eyebrows, very common on babies in Senegal!
Soxna Mai! She is hilarious because she never smiles, but when she does she is so adorable! And so tiny!
My host father and counterpart with my nephew Omar! That smile!
Sainabou once more, I just can’t get enough of her! She is the tiniest little diva with a huge attitude!
My Toma Khodia! Madam’s daughter and my cousin, we share the same name which can be very confusing at times!
Madam, Tee, Ali and I just hanging out under the mango tree!
Just taking some selfies with the rugrats!
I honestly have no idea who this kid is, but his mother sold me some fried dough and wanted me to take a picture of him. Those eyes!
Now an unbelievably large collection of photos of one baby in particular, my nephew/child, and the cutest baby boy I have ever seen… Baby Omar! These photos will hopefully explain a bit about our relationship and how we feel about each other. ❤
So a parting note, probably more as a reminder to myself than anything..No mater what is going on in your life, you can find happiness and you can escape the cycle that people may try to put you in. Depression is real. I personally know this, as do millions of people around the world. The struggle is so real, and it can be very hard to break the cycle and find the happiness that you deserve, but it can be done if you look hard enough.After all, Albus Dumbledore said it best..
“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light.”
And yes..baby Omar is training for Hogwarts once he is old enough. (see hilarious photo above of baby Omar, wand in hand)
Abby's Adventures in Africa 